[The general is clearly practiced with this; he holds Kaveh to him, but not so tight that he can't extract himself from the embrace he felt he needed to. He strokes his hand over the back of the blond's head, combing his fingers through the loose sections of his hair.]
You can tell me whatever you want.
[Curious though his worry— what had Kaveh done that was so bad? To a man who loved those who had committed grave sins, it was difficult to think of what Kaveh might say that would prompt him to cast him out.]
[ The embrace, tight and comforting, is more than welcomed; Kaveh leans into Jing Yuan's arms and sighs, a soft sound of content even as he readies himself to tell a story he doesn't want to tell, to the person he dreads hearing it the most. A breath, eyes closing as the other's fingers run through his hair, and his hands find each other to tie his fingers into knots, something to do against the anxiety. ]
When I was young, my father died. For a long time, I... I've blamed myself for it. I know now that that's something that's not entirely true, but I couldn't help it anyway. Sometimes I still can't. It was... as a kid it was easy to see it as my fault. I asked him to win a prize in a competition. The competition changed him fundamentally, and he died soon after.
It's really only since coming here that I've been able to put space between what happened and the reality of my feelings.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2024-03-03 08:12 am (UTC)You can tell me whatever you want.
[Curious though his worry— what had Kaveh done that was so bad? To a man who loved those who had committed grave sins, it was difficult to think of what Kaveh might say that would prompt him to cast him out.]
At my age, there's little to be surprised about.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-31 11:57 am (UTC)When I was young, my father died. For a long time, I... I've blamed myself for it. I know now that that's something that's not entirely true, but I couldn't help it anyway. Sometimes I still can't. It was... as a kid it was easy to see it as my fault. I asked him to win a prize in a competition. The competition changed him fundamentally, and he died soon after.
It's really only since coming here that I've been able to put space between what happened and the reality of my feelings.