[ Admittedly, the only thing that stops Kaveh from making the move to kiss Jing Yuan himself is the anxiety that comes hand in hand with who he is. At this point, his attraction to and affection for the other man is a little too obvious for his liking, especially when they were ostensibly meant to be nothing more than a one night stand.
Silly little crushes are on brand for him, and he knows this, and he's not about to force the other man to deal with it.
But Jing Yuan kisses him, and Kaveh's hardly about to argue with that. His head tilts up in answer, eyes sinking shut as his arms lift to wind around the other's shoulders, a soft hum of pleasure on his lips. ]
An observation designed to fluster me, [ he mumbles in the next moment, a whisper of a laugh in his voice.
(And it worked, too, but he's always a little flustered around Jing Yuan.) ]
[At times, the general's charm can cross the line into being insufferable. This is probably one of those times his stategic confidence could likely be found a bit annoying. Jing Yuan gives the blond's bottom lip a playful nip, then draws back.
He lifts his hands as he pulls them away from the back of the couch, catching Kaveh's arms to move them off him, and then slides his palms up his back. Jing Yuan manages a crack, and a groan, but Kaveh could probably tell some of it is dramatics.]
This old man can't bend over like that for long. Here, I'll join you.
[He could find any other spot, but Jing Yuan scoops his hands under the cat and hoists her up up long enough that he can take her space against Kaveh's thigh.
For a moment after he settles in he keeps holding her, scooped up in his arms like a baby, cradled against his chest.]
[ There's a look of momentary irritation on Kaveh's face, although it's quelled by the playful nip at his lower lip, by the way Jing Yuan leans back and makes a show of stretching and cracking and groaning. Perhaps it's stupid, just how attracted he is to "this old man", how attached he's let himself become when today has proven any of them could disappear at any moment... but he can't quite help it all the same.
He goes to move— then laughs when the other man scoops the cat up instead— then pouts a little when he continues to cradle her after settling against his thigh
(okay, it's cute, but he wants attention, A-Yuan...)
although he reaches to scratch behind one of her ears before he takes another drink from his tea, moving to rest his head against the older man's shoulder. ]
She still needs a name, [ he confesses. ] I've been thinking maybe something like "Manu"... it's a word in one of the old Sumeru languages that means something or someone your heart desires. Or she could be "Amestris"... "strong woman".
[This cat is considerably tolerable, since she just looks up as Jing Yuan holds her paws and flaps them up and down, his voice lowering so he can puppet: 'I'm not a bean!', which then he laughs at his own antics. He places a kiss on the top of her head for being so compliant, then settles her down in his lap.
Now unoccupied, he curls an arm around Kaveh as he leans against him, tilting his head into his hair. He needn't have to ask for a hug; the older man can tell well enough that he needs one.]
Brought the cat and everything. Thinking of becoming my roommate?
What does— [ But before Kaveh can even finish asking what it means, Jing Yuan is puppeting the cat to make her say she's not a bean, and the blonde starts to laugh. ] I'm not calling her "bean"! You heard her!
[ His smile is fond, though, and he contentedly leans into the arm that is curled around him, the head that is tilted into his hair. Yeah, he needs a hug.
But as for this roommate thing— ]
If we were going to be roommates, you'd have to come to my cottage. This is too small for both of us. ...Besides, I spent so long designing it.
[ He's not sure why he spends such a serious answer on what was probably just a joke, although in the next moment the reason hits him, as the word "roommate" finally settles and the world spins and Kaveh feels like he's going to be sick. He closes his eyes against the sudden rush of tears, puts a hand to his forehead. ]
[Seemed perfectly acceptable for a grimalkin, but Jing Yuan wasn't serious about it anyway. He knows he is terrible at naming and his suggestions should always be disregarded.
He laughs a little when Kaveh launches into a serious answer, taking it light hearted because he's been able to tell that the younger man hates his trailer. It suddenly feels insensitive as it leaves Kaveh realing.
An arm winds tighter around the architect, turning him in a way against his shoulder that makes Jing Yuan unable to read his expression at the moment, giving him a little bit of privacy.]
No need to apologize for your feelings. Grief is a difficult process.
[ He silently appreciates the way the other man pulls him close in such a way that Kaveh can cry in relative privacy (apart, of course, from the fact that he's soaking the other's shirt with his tears). And he knows that Jing Yuan is right, that grief is difficult— after all, he lives with it every day— but he feels stupid all the same, grieving for someone who, for all intents and purposes, is still around, just... not here.
Kaveh swallows. How is he even meant to explain this? The general has never once judged him, and yet Kaveh has also kept from him everything...
He pulls back, his eyes rimmed with sadness and his face written into a quiet, frustrated expression. ]
...A-Yuan, I wanna tell you more about my life back home. Even... even if I'm worried you'll think less of me for it.
[The general is clearly practiced with this; he holds Kaveh to him, but not so tight that he can't extract himself from the embrace he felt he needed to. He strokes his hand over the back of the blond's head, combing his fingers through the loose sections of his hair.]
You can tell me whatever you want.
[Curious though his worry— what had Kaveh done that was so bad? To a man who loved those who had committed grave sins, it was difficult to think of what Kaveh might say that would prompt him to cast him out.]
[ The embrace, tight and comforting, is more than welcomed; Kaveh leans into Jing Yuan's arms and sighs, a soft sound of content even as he readies himself to tell a story he doesn't want to tell, to the person he dreads hearing it the most. A breath, eyes closing as the other's fingers run through his hair, and his hands find each other to tie his fingers into knots, something to do against the anxiety. ]
When I was young, my father died. For a long time, I... I've blamed myself for it. I know now that that's something that's not entirely true, but I couldn't help it anyway. Sometimes I still can't. It was... as a kid it was easy to see it as my fault. I asked him to win a prize in a competition. The competition changed him fundamentally, and he died soon after.
It's really only since coming here that I've been able to put space between what happened and the reality of my feelings.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2023-12-25 12:19 pm (UTC)Silly little crushes are on brand for him, and he knows this, and he's not about to force the other man to deal with it.
But Jing Yuan kisses him, and Kaveh's hardly about to argue with that. His head tilts up in answer, eyes sinking shut as his arms lift to wind around the other's shoulders, a soft hum of pleasure on his lips. ]
An observation designed to fluster me, [ he mumbles in the next moment, a whisper of a laugh in his voice.
(And it worked, too, but he's always a little flustered around Jing Yuan.) ]
no subject
Date: 2024-01-05 08:28 am (UTC)[At times, the general's charm can cross the line into being insufferable. This is probably one of those times his stategic confidence could likely be found a bit annoying. Jing Yuan gives the blond's bottom lip a playful nip, then draws back.
He lifts his hands as he pulls them away from the back of the couch, catching Kaveh's arms to move them off him, and then slides his palms up his back. Jing Yuan manages a crack, and a groan, but Kaveh could probably tell some of it is dramatics.]
This old man can't bend over like that for long. Here, I'll join you.
[He could find any other spot, but Jing Yuan scoops his hands under the cat and hoists her up up long enough that he can take her space against Kaveh's thigh.
For a moment after he settles in he keeps holding her, scooped up in his arms like a baby, cradled against his chest.]
no subject
Date: 2024-01-06 11:50 am (UTC)[ There's a look of momentary irritation on Kaveh's face, although it's quelled by the playful nip at his lower lip, by the way Jing Yuan leans back and makes a show of stretching and cracking and groaning. Perhaps it's stupid, just how attracted he is to "this old man", how attached he's let himself become when today has proven any of them could disappear at any moment... but he can't quite help it all the same.
He goes to move— then laughs when the other man scoops the cat up instead— then pouts a little when he continues to cradle her after settling against his thigh
(okay, it's cute, but he wants attention, A-Yuan...)
although he reaches to scratch behind one of her ears before he takes another drink from his tea, moving to rest his head against the older man's shoulder. ]
She still needs a name, [ he confesses. ] I've been thinking maybe something like "Manu"... it's a word in one of the old Sumeru languages that means something or someone your heart desires. Or she could be "Amestris"... "strong woman".
no subject
Date: 2024-01-14 10:29 am (UTC)[This cat is considerably tolerable, since she just looks up as Jing Yuan holds her paws and flaps them up and down, his voice lowering so he can puppet: 'I'm not a bean!', which then he laughs at his own antics. He places a kiss on the top of her head for being so compliant, then settles her down in his lap.
Now unoccupied, he curls an arm around Kaveh as he leans against him, tilting his head into his hair. He needn't have to ask for a hug; the older man can tell well enough that he needs one.]
Brought the cat and everything. Thinking of becoming my roommate?
no subject
Date: 2024-01-17 11:50 am (UTC)[ His smile is fond, though, and he contentedly leans into the arm that is curled around him, the head that is tilted into his hair. Yeah, he needs a hug.
But as for this roommate thing— ]
If we were going to be roommates, you'd have to come to my cottage. This is too small for both of us. ...Besides, I spent so long designing it.
[ He's not sure why he spends such a serious answer on what was probably just a joke, although in the next moment the reason hits him, as the word "roommate" finally settles and the world spins and Kaveh feels like he's going to be sick. He closes his eyes against the sudden rush of tears, puts a hand to his forehead. ]
...Fuck. Sorry.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-21 04:08 am (UTC)[Seemed perfectly acceptable for a grimalkin, but Jing Yuan wasn't serious about it anyway. He knows he is terrible at naming and his suggestions should always be disregarded.
He laughs a little when Kaveh launches into a serious answer, taking it light hearted because he's been able to tell that the younger man hates his trailer. It suddenly feels insensitive as it leaves Kaveh realing.
An arm winds tighter around the architect, turning him in a way against his shoulder that makes Jing Yuan unable to read his expression at the moment, giving him a little bit of privacy.]
No need to apologize for your feelings. Grief is a difficult process.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-30 12:09 pm (UTC)Kaveh swallows. How is he even meant to explain this? The general has never once judged him, and yet Kaveh has also kept from him everything...
He pulls back, his eyes rimmed with sadness and his face written into a quiet, frustrated expression. ]
...A-Yuan, I wanna tell you more about my life back home. Even... even if I'm worried you'll think less of me for it.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-03 08:12 am (UTC)You can tell me whatever you want.
[Curious though his worry— what had Kaveh done that was so bad? To a man who loved those who had committed grave sins, it was difficult to think of what Kaveh might say that would prompt him to cast him out.]
At my age, there's little to be surprised about.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-31 11:57 am (UTC)When I was young, my father died. For a long time, I... I've blamed myself for it. I know now that that's something that's not entirely true, but I couldn't help it anyway. Sometimes I still can't. It was... as a kid it was easy to see it as my fault. I asked him to win a prize in a competition. The competition changed him fundamentally, and he died soon after.
It's really only since coming here that I've been able to put space between what happened and the reality of my feelings.