Tea sounds really good.. Thank you. I'll bring some snacks
[ Kaveh sends that before he packs a satchel and slips his new feline companion into a pouch slung over his front. After all, Jing Yuan had a hand in rescuing her when Kaveh's attempt nearly got them both killed; it's only fair that the two of them make the visit together, even if she still doesn't have a name. A quick glance in the mirror confirms that he looks passable, if somewhat tired, and with that done he spreads his wings in the direction of Cruel Summer, following the navigation app to make sure he doesn't get lost.
Teyvat doesn't exactly have anything like a trailer, so Kaveh's initial reaction upon arrival is confusion; by the time he sets himself on the ground at Jing Yuan's door, though, he is having to carefully mask feelings that no doubt will have the other man seeing him as some kind of arrogant snob.
(And compared to the treehouse he'd chosen for himself in reality, this is the sort of place Kaveh can imagine Alhaitham in, functional and simple and with little to no focus on beauty at all.)
He squares his shoulders and knocks, trying for a smile, even if it's lost somewhere behind his displeasure and a weird, complicated feeling that tries to mask itself as grief when it really isn't. ]
[It's not long after the knock before the trailer door opens, and the tall immortal is standing there smiling down at Kaveh from the higher step. There's a strange look on Kaveh's face, but for the moment Jing Yuan just offers him a hand to help him in.]
Welcome, it's good to see you.
[Compared to Kaveh's own home, the trailer is a fraction of the size, but it's comfortable enough for Jing Yuan, comprising of a main room, bedroom, and a small bathroom. Compared to the heat of the desert, the inside is pleasantly cool and well lit— that's probably where the pros end to Kaveh. It's very colorful with bright reds and aquamarine blues and golds decorating every bit of wall, flooring and furnishing.
The rugs are ornately patterned, as is the lacquered wood couch that had struck Jing Yuan as familiar enough to a Xianzhou style. A chess board sits on the raised miniture table set in the middle of it. Aside from color and furniture there aren't too many decorations; at most, if piles of books and scrolls could be considered decoration, then that's all there is roughly.
Jing Yuan leans against his kitchen's blue countertops, leaving room for Kaveh to get comfortable.]
[ Kaveh accepts the offered hand, and for a moment it's enough to make him forget the displeasure he felt upon seeing the outside of the place; there's a sudden, overwhelming urge to just throw himself into the other's arms, an urge he forces away with a slight close of his eyes as he steps into the trailer. Jing Yuan owes him nothing at all, and yet he was kind enough to invite him over, to offer his time and his comfort—
Thankfully(?), the interior of the other's home distracts him enough that the discomfort is forgotten, crimson eyes wide as he looks around.
(And Archons, Jing Yuan is leaning against the kitchen counter, as if waiting for him to say something...)
He takes a breath, and sits down on the couch, trying at least five different sentences in his head before he finds the one he's comfortable settling on: ]
It's very unique. Really. Um. Colorful. ...Is this a chess board?
[ Outcome: not even remotely smooth. When he shoots a smile at Jing Yuan, the other might notice that the red in his eyes has softened a little, a similar color to the peachy red flush of his cheeks. For something to do, he unfastens the pouch, letting the cat slip out— she doesn't go far, just curls up against his thigh with a lazy meow. ]
[It's pretty clear as day that Kaveh hates where he lives. Even if Jing Yuan hadn't had several lifetimes of experience with the study of body language and vocal tone, the blond wasn't very good at hiding it. He tilts his head, wondering what's so offensive about it all.]
Yes. I've read all the books that the Luofu has to offer on the subject and I'm working my way through Folkmore's, though I don't often have an opponent.
[Some of the times he's coaxed some spirits into playing with him, they've left the game quite annoyed. He wonders why that is?
He smiles at Kaveh, then bends down for his fridge. He'd prepared the tea earlier, and it just takes him a few moments of shuffling around and a strange foamy sound later, and the immortal is handing him a beige drink covered in whipped cream. There's some suspicious looking black balls that can be seen in the glass, and the straw is quite thick.
On a second thought, he puts a little more whipped cream on the tip of one of his fingers, then offers that to the cat too.]
[ It's probably a good thing Kaveh doesn't realize Jing Yuan can see right through him. He would be mortified— as an artist, he's comfortable in his understanding of aesthetics, and he's never exactly hidden that more judgmental aspect of his personality before, but...
Well, he doesn't want to give the general a bad impression of himself.
He smiles when the other man talks about chess, though. Read through all the books? How much of a type does he have? (The thought makes the expression falter for just a moment, and his gaze drops to the set again before he looks up once more.) ]
I'm no expert, but I can hold my own in a game. Perhaps I could learn more from you, to....o?
[ He blinks, looking from Jing Yuan to the whipped cream monstrosity that the immortal has previously called "tea", despite it being decidedly not tea. ]
Um. What... what is this?
[ Well. So much for not showing the entirety of his judgmental ass... The cat at least is happy to accept the cream, licking it off the tip of Jing Yuan's finger with a pleased mrow, and then a headbutt. ]
[Kaveh has no idea what sort of trouble he has just brought upon himself by offering to play with Jing Yuan, but for the moment at least the older man beams at him.]
I won't go easy on you. Not even my retainer gets special treatment.
[Once his fingers are free of cream and instead full of affectionate soft ears, the kitty gets a nice stroke over her head. Kaveh gets one too.]
It's tea. I tried to recreate a popular drink from the Luofu. If it's not to your liking, I can get you something else.
Hm. You don't think I could find a way to sway you in my favor even a little?
[ He's laughing as he says it, the words vaguely flirty even as his smile is fond. It's true— he has no idea of the trouble he's just brought down upon himself, he just likes seeing Jing Yuan smile at him like this. His eyes close at the gentle stroke over his head, humming in a way that sounds suspiciously similar to the cat's contented noise at the same touch. When they open again, he shakes his head. It's not what he expected, but— ]
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. Where I'm from, the word "tea" means something entirely different. But I'm not going to reject a new experience.
[ So he sips at the drink, eyes widening at the sweet, creamy taste— one that is still somehow similar around the edges as the drink Kaveh would recognize as tea— and then yelping and coughing as an unexpected boba appears in his mouth. Wide-eyed, he looks back up at Jing Yuan, facial expression practically screaming "help?" in his direction. Awkwardly, he talks around the pearl of tapioca resting on his tongue. ]
[Kaveh's flirting works on Jing Yuan, prompting a chuckle back in response. The taller man shakes his head after.]
You're cute, but not in the slightest.
[Having watched a few people try Immortal's Delight, he expected at least some of the expressions that cross Kaveh's face. He doesn't mean to be sadistic, but he does have a bit of a bratty sense of humor at times— the gagging prompts another chuckle from him.
He bends over, cheshire smile so big on his face his eyes close, and puts a hand against a thigh.]
I know you're good at swallowing, but if you like you can chew it.
[ Kaveh laughs too when his attempt at flirting— while successful— falls flat on its face nonetheless. It's clear that Jing Yuan is very serious about his chess. He's in for some trouble, he realizes now— although he's far from realizing exactly how much of it he's walked himself right into.
Perhaps he'd return the comment, tease him right back, but his attention is diverted by the Immortal's Delight, and the strange taste of the tapioca pearl on his tongue—
and he just about chokes on the thing when Jing Yuan leans close to continue teasing, carmine eyes wide in embarrassment in response to the comment. Archons...
He chews it, though, before he swallows it, and even with the embarrassment on his face, there's room for interest and curiosity. It's not bad, actually, even if it takes some getting used to. ]
You're horrid, [ he says once he mouth is empty, but there's a smile at its corners, and he laughs again, his hand lifting to catch around the back of the other's neck, tugging him a little closer, until their lips are practically ghosting against each other's. ] But I'm glad I made an impression.
[Maybe he's horrid, but he did get a laugh and a smile out of Kaveh, so Jing Yuan does consider that a win. He lets himself be tugged down, his forehead bumping against his like an affectionate cat. Then the immortal moves his hands from his thighs to the back of the couch, boxing Kaveh in.]
Horrid? It's merely an observation.
[He tilts his face just slightly, noses brushing against each other before their lips press together. He kisses Kaveh because he likes him, because he feels good when he kisses him, and because he wants to distract him from whatever is on his thoughts at the moment.]
[ Admittedly, the only thing that stops Kaveh from making the move to kiss Jing Yuan himself is the anxiety that comes hand in hand with who he is. At this point, his attraction to and affection for the other man is a little too obvious for his liking, especially when they were ostensibly meant to be nothing more than a one night stand.
Silly little crushes are on brand for him, and he knows this, and he's not about to force the other man to deal with it.
But Jing Yuan kisses him, and Kaveh's hardly about to argue with that. His head tilts up in answer, eyes sinking shut as his arms lift to wind around the other's shoulders, a soft hum of pleasure on his lips. ]
An observation designed to fluster me, [ he mumbles in the next moment, a whisper of a laugh in his voice.
(And it worked, too, but he's always a little flustered around Jing Yuan.) ]
[At times, the general's charm can cross the line into being insufferable. This is probably one of those times his stategic confidence could likely be found a bit annoying. Jing Yuan gives the blond's bottom lip a playful nip, then draws back.
He lifts his hands as he pulls them away from the back of the couch, catching Kaveh's arms to move them off him, and then slides his palms up his back. Jing Yuan manages a crack, and a groan, but Kaveh could probably tell some of it is dramatics.]
This old man can't bend over like that for long. Here, I'll join you.
[He could find any other spot, but Jing Yuan scoops his hands under the cat and hoists her up up long enough that he can take her space against Kaveh's thigh.
For a moment after he settles in he keeps holding her, scooped up in his arms like a baby, cradled against his chest.]
[ There's a look of momentary irritation on Kaveh's face, although it's quelled by the playful nip at his lower lip, by the way Jing Yuan leans back and makes a show of stretching and cracking and groaning. Perhaps it's stupid, just how attracted he is to "this old man", how attached he's let himself become when today has proven any of them could disappear at any moment... but he can't quite help it all the same.
He goes to move— then laughs when the other man scoops the cat up instead— then pouts a little when he continues to cradle her after settling against his thigh
(okay, it's cute, but he wants attention, A-Yuan...)
although he reaches to scratch behind one of her ears before he takes another drink from his tea, moving to rest his head against the older man's shoulder. ]
She still needs a name, [ he confesses. ] I've been thinking maybe something like "Manu"... it's a word in one of the old Sumeru languages that means something or someone your heart desires. Or she could be "Amestris"... "strong woman".
[This cat is considerably tolerable, since she just looks up as Jing Yuan holds her paws and flaps them up and down, his voice lowering so he can puppet: 'I'm not a bean!', which then he laughs at his own antics. He places a kiss on the top of her head for being so compliant, then settles her down in his lap.
Now unoccupied, he curls an arm around Kaveh as he leans against him, tilting his head into his hair. He needn't have to ask for a hug; the older man can tell well enough that he needs one.]
Brought the cat and everything. Thinking of becoming my roommate?
What does— [ But before Kaveh can even finish asking what it means, Jing Yuan is puppeting the cat to make her say she's not a bean, and the blonde starts to laugh. ] I'm not calling her "bean"! You heard her!
[ His smile is fond, though, and he contentedly leans into the arm that is curled around him, the head that is tilted into his hair. Yeah, he needs a hug.
But as for this roommate thing— ]
If we were going to be roommates, you'd have to come to my cottage. This is too small for both of us. ...Besides, I spent so long designing it.
[ He's not sure why he spends such a serious answer on what was probably just a joke, although in the next moment the reason hits him, as the word "roommate" finally settles and the world spins and Kaveh feels like he's going to be sick. He closes his eyes against the sudden rush of tears, puts a hand to his forehead. ]
[Seemed perfectly acceptable for a grimalkin, but Jing Yuan wasn't serious about it anyway. He knows he is terrible at naming and his suggestions should always be disregarded.
He laughs a little when Kaveh launches into a serious answer, taking it light hearted because he's been able to tell that the younger man hates his trailer. It suddenly feels insensitive as it leaves Kaveh realing.
An arm winds tighter around the architect, turning him in a way against his shoulder that makes Jing Yuan unable to read his expression at the moment, giving him a little bit of privacy.]
No need to apologize for your feelings. Grief is a difficult process.
[ He silently appreciates the way the other man pulls him close in such a way that Kaveh can cry in relative privacy (apart, of course, from the fact that he's soaking the other's shirt with his tears). And he knows that Jing Yuan is right, that grief is difficult— after all, he lives with it every day— but he feels stupid all the same, grieving for someone who, for all intents and purposes, is still around, just... not here.
Kaveh swallows. How is he even meant to explain this? The general has never once judged him, and yet Kaveh has also kept from him everything...
He pulls back, his eyes rimmed with sadness and his face written into a quiet, frustrated expression. ]
...A-Yuan, I wanna tell you more about my life back home. Even... even if I'm worried you'll think less of me for it.
[The general is clearly practiced with this; he holds Kaveh to him, but not so tight that he can't extract himself from the embrace he felt he needed to. He strokes his hand over the back of the blond's head, combing his fingers through the loose sections of his hair.]
You can tell me whatever you want.
[Curious though his worry— what had Kaveh done that was so bad? To a man who loved those who had committed grave sins, it was difficult to think of what Kaveh might say that would prompt him to cast him out.]
[ The embrace, tight and comforting, is more than welcomed; Kaveh leans into Jing Yuan's arms and sighs, a soft sound of content even as he readies himself to tell a story he doesn't want to tell, to the person he dreads hearing it the most. A breath, eyes closing as the other's fingers run through his hair, and his hands find each other to tie his fingers into knots, something to do against the anxiety. ]
When I was young, my father died. For a long time, I... I've blamed myself for it. I know now that that's something that's not entirely true, but I couldn't help it anyway. Sometimes I still can't. It was... as a kid it was easy to see it as my fault. I asked him to win a prize in a competition. The competition changed him fundamentally, and he died soon after.
It's really only since coming here that I've been able to put space between what happened and the reality of my feelings.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2023-12-09 09:28 am (UTC)[He's never going to have this much free time ever again. Jing Yuan is concerned— .]
He's from your homeworld, isn't he? Maybe consider it a temporary departure then. You are currently traveling, too.
I am glad you're here too, though.
[Whenever his supposed true potential is reached, he thinks he will miss Kaveh.]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-09 12:20 pm (UTC)Yeah. He is, but..
[ Ugh. It's complicated. And Kaveh doesn't want to lean on anyone, but Jing Yuan is telling him that his time is free, so— ]
do you mind if I come over? Or you can come to my place if you'd rather
[ And despite the difficulty of the feelings churning in his gut, he finds himself smiling at the other's final comment. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-10 05:17 am (UTC)[Address to his place in Cruel Summer]
If you like, I'll make tea for us.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-10 08:00 am (UTC)I'll bring some snacks
[ Kaveh sends that before he packs a satchel and slips his new feline companion into a pouch slung over his front. After all, Jing Yuan had a hand in rescuing her when Kaveh's attempt nearly got them both killed; it's only fair that the two of them make the visit together, even if she still doesn't have a name. A quick glance in the mirror confirms that he looks passable, if somewhat tired, and with that done he spreads his wings in the direction of Cruel Summer, following the navigation app to make sure he doesn't get lost.
Teyvat doesn't exactly have anything like a trailer, so Kaveh's initial reaction upon arrival is confusion; by the time he sets himself on the ground at Jing Yuan's door, though, he is having to carefully mask feelings that no doubt will have the other man seeing him as some kind of arrogant snob.
(And compared to the treehouse he'd chosen for himself in reality, this is the sort of place Kaveh can imagine Alhaitham in, functional and simple and with little to no focus on beauty at all.)
He squares his shoulders and knocks, trying for a smile, even if it's lost somewhere behind his displeasure and a weird, complicated feeling that tries to mask itself as grief when it really isn't. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-10 09:23 am (UTC)Welcome, it's good to see you.
[Compared to Kaveh's own home, the trailer is a fraction of the size, but it's comfortable enough for Jing Yuan, comprising of a main room, bedroom, and a small bathroom. Compared to the heat of the desert, the inside is pleasantly cool and well lit— that's probably where the pros end to Kaveh. It's very colorful with bright reds and aquamarine blues and golds decorating every bit of wall, flooring and furnishing.
The rugs are ornately patterned, as is the lacquered wood couch that had struck Jing Yuan as familiar enough to a Xianzhou style. A chess board sits on the raised miniture table set in the middle of it. Aside from color and furniture there aren't too many decorations; at most, if piles of books and scrolls could be considered decoration, then that's all there is roughly.
Jing Yuan leans against his kitchen's blue countertops, leaving room for Kaveh to get comfortable.]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-11 11:56 am (UTC)Thankfully(?), the interior of the other's home distracts him enough that the discomfort is forgotten, crimson eyes wide as he looks around.
(And Archons, Jing Yuan is leaning against the kitchen counter, as if waiting for him to say something...)
He takes a breath, and sits down on the couch, trying at least five different sentences in his head before he finds the one he's comfortable settling on: ]
It's very unique. Really. Um. Colorful. ...Is this a chess board?
[ Outcome: not even remotely smooth. When he shoots a smile at Jing Yuan, the other might notice that the red in his eyes has softened a little, a similar color to the peachy red flush of his cheeks. For something to do, he unfastens the pouch, letting the cat slip out— she doesn't go far, just curls up against his thigh with a lazy meow. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-12 07:41 am (UTC)Yes. I've read all the books that the Luofu has to offer on the subject and I'm working my way through Folkmore's, though I don't often have an opponent.
[Some of the times he's coaxed some spirits into playing with him, they've left the game quite annoyed. He wonders why that is?
He smiles at Kaveh, then bends down for his fridge. He'd prepared the tea earlier, and it just takes him a few moments of shuffling around and a strange foamy sound later, and the immortal is handing him a beige drink covered in whipped cream. There's some suspicious looking black balls that can be seen in the glass, and the straw is quite thick.
On a second thought, he puts a little more whipped cream on the tip of one of his fingers, then offers that to the cat too.]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-17 08:16 am (UTC)Well, he doesn't want to give the general a bad impression of himself.
He smiles when the other man talks about chess, though. Read through all the books? How much of a type does he have? (The thought makes the expression falter for just a moment, and his gaze drops to the set again before he looks up once more.) ]
I'm no expert, but I can hold my own in a game. Perhaps I could learn more from you, to....o?
[ He blinks, looking from Jing Yuan to the whipped cream monstrosity that the immortal has previously called "tea", despite it being decidedly not tea. ]
Um. What... what is this?
[ Well. So much for not showing the entirety of his judgmental ass... The cat at least is happy to accept the cream, licking it off the tip of Jing Yuan's finger with a pleased mrow, and then a headbutt. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-17 11:17 am (UTC)I won't go easy on you. Not even my retainer gets special treatment.
[Once his fingers are free of cream and instead full of affectionate soft ears, the kitty gets a nice stroke over her head. Kaveh gets one too.]
It's tea. I tried to recreate a popular drink from the Luofu. If it's not to your liking, I can get you something else.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-17 03:12 pm (UTC)[ He's laughing as he says it, the words vaguely flirty even as his smile is fond. It's true— he has no idea of the trouble he's just brought down upon himself, he just likes seeing Jing Yuan smile at him like this. His eyes close at the gentle stroke over his head, humming in a way that sounds suspiciously similar to the cat's contented noise at the same touch. When they open again, he shakes his head. It's not what he expected, but— ]
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. Where I'm from, the word "tea" means something entirely different. But I'm not going to reject a new experience.
[ So he sips at the drink, eyes widening at the sweet, creamy taste— one that is still somehow similar around the edges as the drink Kaveh would recognize as tea— and then yelping and coughing as an unexpected boba appears in his mouth. Wide-eyed, he looks back up at Jing Yuan, facial expression practically screaming "help?" in his direction. Awkwardly, he talks around the pearl of tapioca resting on his tongue. ]
Do I. Um. Swallow it?
no subject
Date: 2023-12-19 05:59 am (UTC)You're cute, but not in the slightest.
[Having watched a few people try Immortal's Delight, he expected at least some of the expressions that cross Kaveh's face. He doesn't mean to be sadistic, but he does have a bit of a bratty sense of humor at times— the gagging prompts another chuckle from him.
He bends over, cheshire smile so big on his face his eyes close, and puts a hand against a thigh.]
I know you're good at swallowing, but if you like you can chew it.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-21 08:14 am (UTC)Perhaps he'd return the comment, tease him right back, but his attention is diverted by the Immortal's Delight, and the strange taste of the tapioca pearl on his tongue—
and he just about chokes on the thing when Jing Yuan leans close to continue teasing, carmine eyes wide in embarrassment in response to the comment. Archons...
He chews it, though, before he swallows it, and even with the embarrassment on his face, there's room for interest and curiosity. It's not bad, actually, even if it takes some getting used to. ]
You're horrid, [ he says once he mouth is empty, but there's a smile at its corners, and he laughs again, his hand lifting to catch around the back of the other's neck, tugging him a little closer, until their lips are practically ghosting against each other's. ] But I'm glad I made an impression.
no subject
Date: 2023-12-22 08:37 am (UTC)Horrid? It's merely an observation.
[He tilts his face just slightly, noses brushing against each other before their lips press together. He kisses Kaveh because he likes him, because he feels good when he kisses him, and because he wants to distract him from whatever is on his thoughts at the moment.]
no subject
Date: 2023-12-25 12:19 pm (UTC)Silly little crushes are on brand for him, and he knows this, and he's not about to force the other man to deal with it.
But Jing Yuan kisses him, and Kaveh's hardly about to argue with that. His head tilts up in answer, eyes sinking shut as his arms lift to wind around the other's shoulders, a soft hum of pleasure on his lips. ]
An observation designed to fluster me, [ he mumbles in the next moment, a whisper of a laugh in his voice.
(And it worked, too, but he's always a little flustered around Jing Yuan.) ]
no subject
Date: 2024-01-05 08:28 am (UTC)[At times, the general's charm can cross the line into being insufferable. This is probably one of those times his stategic confidence could likely be found a bit annoying. Jing Yuan gives the blond's bottom lip a playful nip, then draws back.
He lifts his hands as he pulls them away from the back of the couch, catching Kaveh's arms to move them off him, and then slides his palms up his back. Jing Yuan manages a crack, and a groan, but Kaveh could probably tell some of it is dramatics.]
This old man can't bend over like that for long. Here, I'll join you.
[He could find any other spot, but Jing Yuan scoops his hands under the cat and hoists her up up long enough that he can take her space against Kaveh's thigh.
For a moment after he settles in he keeps holding her, scooped up in his arms like a baby, cradled against his chest.]
no subject
Date: 2024-01-06 11:50 am (UTC)[ There's a look of momentary irritation on Kaveh's face, although it's quelled by the playful nip at his lower lip, by the way Jing Yuan leans back and makes a show of stretching and cracking and groaning. Perhaps it's stupid, just how attracted he is to "this old man", how attached he's let himself become when today has proven any of them could disappear at any moment... but he can't quite help it all the same.
He goes to move— then laughs when the other man scoops the cat up instead— then pouts a little when he continues to cradle her after settling against his thigh
(okay, it's cute, but he wants attention, A-Yuan...)
although he reaches to scratch behind one of her ears before he takes another drink from his tea, moving to rest his head against the older man's shoulder. ]
She still needs a name, [ he confesses. ] I've been thinking maybe something like "Manu"... it's a word in one of the old Sumeru languages that means something or someone your heart desires. Or she could be "Amestris"... "strong woman".
no subject
Date: 2024-01-14 10:29 am (UTC)[This cat is considerably tolerable, since she just looks up as Jing Yuan holds her paws and flaps them up and down, his voice lowering so he can puppet: 'I'm not a bean!', which then he laughs at his own antics. He places a kiss on the top of her head for being so compliant, then settles her down in his lap.
Now unoccupied, he curls an arm around Kaveh as he leans against him, tilting his head into his hair. He needn't have to ask for a hug; the older man can tell well enough that he needs one.]
Brought the cat and everything. Thinking of becoming my roommate?
no subject
Date: 2024-01-17 11:50 am (UTC)[ His smile is fond, though, and he contentedly leans into the arm that is curled around him, the head that is tilted into his hair. Yeah, he needs a hug.
But as for this roommate thing— ]
If we were going to be roommates, you'd have to come to my cottage. This is too small for both of us. ...Besides, I spent so long designing it.
[ He's not sure why he spends such a serious answer on what was probably just a joke, although in the next moment the reason hits him, as the word "roommate" finally settles and the world spins and Kaveh feels like he's going to be sick. He closes his eyes against the sudden rush of tears, puts a hand to his forehead. ]
...Fuck. Sorry.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-21 04:08 am (UTC)[Seemed perfectly acceptable for a grimalkin, but Jing Yuan wasn't serious about it anyway. He knows he is terrible at naming and his suggestions should always be disregarded.
He laughs a little when Kaveh launches into a serious answer, taking it light hearted because he's been able to tell that the younger man hates his trailer. It suddenly feels insensitive as it leaves Kaveh realing.
An arm winds tighter around the architect, turning him in a way against his shoulder that makes Jing Yuan unable to read his expression at the moment, giving him a little bit of privacy.]
No need to apologize for your feelings. Grief is a difficult process.
no subject
Date: 2024-01-30 12:09 pm (UTC)Kaveh swallows. How is he even meant to explain this? The general has never once judged him, and yet Kaveh has also kept from him everything...
He pulls back, his eyes rimmed with sadness and his face written into a quiet, frustrated expression. ]
...A-Yuan, I wanna tell you more about my life back home. Even... even if I'm worried you'll think less of me for it.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-03 08:12 am (UTC)You can tell me whatever you want.
[Curious though his worry— what had Kaveh done that was so bad? To a man who loved those who had committed grave sins, it was difficult to think of what Kaveh might say that would prompt him to cast him out.]
At my age, there's little to be surprised about.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-31 11:57 am (UTC)When I was young, my father died. For a long time, I... I've blamed myself for it. I know now that that's something that's not entirely true, but I couldn't help it anyway. Sometimes I still can't. It was... as a kid it was easy to see it as my fault. I asked him to win a prize in a competition. The competition changed him fundamentally, and he died soon after.
It's really only since coming here that I've been able to put space between what happened and the reality of my feelings.